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Friday, October 31, 2008

A Plea from a Gold Star Father

As a native of Connecticut, and someone who was lucky enough to avoid the often severe consequences of Lyme Disease, this is a plea close to my heart. When I was bitten by a tick years ago, the classic "target mark" was clearly visible on my knee, and I was fortunate enough to have treatment during the first few days following the bite. I have few lasting effects, and those I do have are mild.

My stepfather was not so lucky, and has had a number of issues related to Lyme Disease. Pets can be victims, too - one of my best friends' dogs has Lyme Disease, and fortunately is responding well to treatment.

Each spring around here, we are reminded around this area of the dangers posed by the little critters we may not even see.

Robert Stokely is a Gold Star father familiar to many in the milblog community, and near and dear to our hearts. Please take a moment to assist this family and others like them - the Stokelys have already given so much for all of us.

The Stokelys need your help as do many many others around the country to get Congress to act - please see the links below to versions of the U.S. House and Senate bills for Lyme Disease Research below:

Lyme and Tick-Borne Disease Prevention, Education, and Research Act of 2007 (Introduced in House)[H.R.741.IH]

Lyme and Tick-Borne Disease Prevention, Education, and Research Act of 2007 (Introduced in Senate)[S.1708.IS]

Abbey Stokely was bitten by a tick about 20 months ago. We have been to doctors - the best we can find and she is very sick to this day and I fear she may even die. Yesterday, as a home health nurse came to treat her under the orders of an infectious disease doctor, she suddenly collapsed, stopped breathing and then responded again. I buried a son, SGT Mike Stokley KIA 16 AUG Yusufiyah Iraq and that nearly did it for me. I don't think I can bury a daughter, much less I know my wife Retta can't, for like Mike and I were best friends, Retta and Abbey are the closet mother / daughter I have ever known, and on top of that, they have the closet friendship I have ever seen in my life.

The other day, Abbey became so ill and fatigued at school that a friend had to bring her home from school. We, like many other families, are desparate. We nearly lost Abbey in a car wreck five months after Mike died when she and I were struck in her door, sheering it away, by another car running a stop sign. We rolled and then flipped end over end for 180 feet. We spent 18 months gettng Abbey well from that wreck.

It was during that recovery time that Abbey was bitten by the tick. Since then she has had to endure something no emerging teenager wants - to have your life taken away and unable to be with your friends. Going to church is a struggle, yet her faith and committment to God leads her to save up her strength to go to church for an hour. She went to school half days, not even going other days. Amazingly, she maintained the high straight A average she has had everyday of her entire school career, and moved from 15th in her class to 4th (and she is in a very competetive 2010 class).

We understood and accepted what we were in for when Mike went to Iraq. Yet, his death continues to be a heart break to us every day. While other thirteen year old girls might have attended their first funeral to bury a grandparent, Abbey attended her first to bury a treasured and loved brother in a most public setting, TV cameras and Reporters in her face at the State Capitol prayer service, and then again as over a thousand attended Mike's funeral. Instead of a simple graveside service and prayer to get through for a grandparent, Abbey said goodbye to her brother to the report of a 21 gun salute, watching the flag draping his casket be folded, and then the playing of taps.

There are a lot of unknowns about Lyme Disease and a lot of "blowing off" of patients like Abbey and our family by the medical community. Some doctors have even had their license taken away or suspended because traditional medical community views tend to discount Lyme even exists in many states or that the regimen of treatment is two weeks of an anitbiotic and the patient is cured, and if not, they are depressed and need a psychiatrist.

If what I describe above is not enough for Abbey to go through from age 13 - to 16, she has had to endure going through every known medical test and being told we don't know what you have, but it is not Lyme Disease because Lyme does not exist in GA and you are just depressed because of what has happened in your life. Such is how it goes for many others like Abbey Stokely - they are blamed for not getting better and told there is nothing wrong with them.

Abbey Stokely wants to get better, she wants to live a full life, and she wants to be happy. Yet, in the face of the the physical setback of Lyme Disease and only able to go to school half days, some days not at all, she carried a full advanced placement high school load, elected to be the President of her Student Government, doing homework on weekends when her friends are out having fun so she can maintain her lifelong high straight A average. She is in a very competetive academic class of 2010 at her high school and has managed to achieve being ranked 4th in her class. She continues a strong faith in God even given what has befallen her, continuing to read and study her bible and carry on a committed prayer life. She is respectful and considerate of the needs of others even to the point the other day when she was rear-ended by another driver, and hurt again, she was more worried about how they were than her own self, and now worries if the other driver will get in much trouble with their parents and insurance company. She is chaste and would not dare consider a drink or illegal drug. She saves her allowance for college and dreams of being a doctor or doing something to contribute to the betterment of life for others. She was trying to walk several miles a day and build up strength to walk in the three day breast cancer walk and had raised considerable money to donate to the Susan Komen Breast Cancer Foundation by making crafts to sell and holding late night dinners for the staff at her mom's hospital. Does that sound like someone who is depressed and needs a psychiatrist?

Abbey Stokely is sick and could die from Lyme Disease. Now, we as a family need your help.

Congress has two bills pending - one in the House and one in the Senate - links above and for a tenth straight year will die if not passed out of Congress in December. We need to look at this disease and study it with an open mind and not take the hasty and closed minded positions as those with a conflict of interest due to ties in the research and pharmacuetical field have. A video "Under Our Skin" which is gripping and compelling to ask questions why not study and learn more rather than misdiagnois or outright ignore the problem. A legitimate question exists why the medical community, including CDC, is not responding and families like us, and people like Abbey, are being left with no answers, even being shunned and blamed with "the problem". Please help us and the many many others like us around our country.I am not one who shows fear but I am really scarred for my daughter. Please guard your family from ticks, for Lyme Disease, while recognized as a disease in some states on the eastern seaboard from Maryland north, there are many states it exists in great numbers like Georgia but is ignored by health authorities. Remember, thirty years ago no one had heard of Lyme Disease until it was discovered by a doctor who studied the unusual onset of child hood arthritis in large numbrs of children in Lyme Conneticut. While the medical community blames the patient in many cases today, or misdiagnosis the patient altogether, we are very likely to look back one day and ask ourselves as a nation who we could have ignored it for so long and let so many suffer needlessly.

Thank you my friends for any contacts you can make and please share this with your friends if you like.

Robert Stokely
proud dad SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 16 Aug 05 near Yusufiyah Iraq
and proud but very concerned dad of Abbey Stokely, suffering from Lyme Disease

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Monday, December 31, 2007

From a Gold Star Father to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

NOTE: You can see the cartoon Mr. Stokely refers to here - it's #5 in the slideshow. (I won't put it on this site).


To the Editorial Board of the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

Today, as I read the Sunday (December 30, 2007) edition of the AJC, and as I tried to turn past the two page spread you gave Mike Luckovich, my eye caught his distasteful use (again) of a Flag Draped Casket (year end recap / replay of July 17 cartoon). Worse yet, Mike Luckovich used these descriptive words "..THIS LOUSY COFFIN..." as he refers to the most visible, respectable, and grief evoking symbol of a fallen soldier. You may think me overly sensitive, but then you wouldn't think I was if you had met your fallen son's body as I did at an air cargo hanger at Hartsfield Airport on August 24, 2005. Perhaps you might understand better if you could have been there when the news broke at my home, as I walked in circles in my driveway trying to figure out how to tell my family, including my son's 13 year old sister who adored him. Try figuring out how to cope as a family day to day with the most incredible loss imaginable - the loss of a son and brother, or as some have, a daughter and sister. Try being a 20 year old bride to your high school sweetheart ten days before he went to war, only to be handed the flag off his casket three months later. Sit down and review my son's autopsy report and see for yourself why he was "non-viewable body". Then, perhaps, you and Mike Luckovich might have a glimpse why it is so insensitive and in such poor taste to use a Flag Draped Casket in the manner that Mike Luckovich has now done on two occasions.

The Flag Draped Casket is the last visible and demonstrative image so many of us have of our fallen loved ones. God spare you the pain those of us who have welcomed home a Flag Draped Casket have endured, for it is a pain which radiates from a special privilege of sacrifice which costs a life time of love. May you never have to open a paper and see something so dear to your broken heart being trifled with as Mike Luckovich does with the Flag Draped Casket.

There are many who profit off war, and in war, one man's loss is another's black ink bottom line. But, would your bottom line run red if you just left the Flag Draped Casket alone?

Robert Stokely
proudly remembering my son, SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 16 AUG 05 near Yusufiyah Iraq
USA E 108 CAV 48th BCT GAARNG
DUTY HONOR COUNTRY


p.s. - Note to file - Mike Luckovich used the word coffin but there is a significant difference between a coffin, which is contoured, being wider at the upper body and narrower at the legs versus a casket which has a uniform dimension.

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Thursday, July 19, 2007

Monday, May 28, 2007

A Gold Star Father's Thoughts on Memorial Day

Mr. Stokely sends us his Memorial Day thoughts. he
writes:

No doubt, as
David recounted the other day,
Memorial Day has become anything but in the eyes of most. Plain and simple,
Memorial Day is about one group of people who share one common distinguishing
denominator - they are U.S. military peronnel who died in the line of duty,
serving with honor the country the America they loved. DUTY HONOR
COUNTRY.


This past week I have tried to think what is the proper approach to
Memorial Day. Obviously the word celebrate, at first glance seems to have the
wrong "theme", for how do you celebrate the death of a soldier, sailor or airman
in the line of duty? It should not be called a holiday for can it be proper to
have fun and leisure on a day when we are supposed to be remembering those who died in the line of duty so we can remain free and prosperous?


So, what should we do? Simple to me, REMEMBER, for when we remember, we
show respect for the sacrifice made on our behalf. For me, I will remember these
things about my son and how we came to be a family whose Memorial Day was
forever changed in an instant:


Read the Rest at The Thunder Run

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