So yesterday afternoon, I'm getting ready to head out to a medical appointment. A semi-truck drives down the road, which strikes me as odd, since we live on a dead-end street, and it's not the sort of place a semi needs to be.

As I come outside, I notice that the phone lines are snapped off my house. More accurately, half of the phone lines are hanging to the ground outside my house; the other half is hanging off the phone pole across the street. I look down the road, and Mr. Truck is turning around at the end of the road.

He comes up the street, and as nicely as I can, I flag him down and say, "Excuse me, but your truck snapped the phone lines to my house."

"I didn't hit anything - I was watching." says Mr. Truckdriver.

"Well," says I, looking up at the top of his truck, "you're hitting them now - what's left of them."

"Well what do you want me to do?" says Mr. Truckdriver. "It's a big truck."

"Well, you tore the phone lines off my house. I need your information, because I'm going to need to call someone."

"I didn't hit anything."

We go on like this for a few moments, and I repeat my request for his information so that I can make a phone call. Instead of providing me with the information, as required by law, Mr. Truckdriver drives away.

Now, remember, I'm on the way to a doctor's appointment, for an as yet undiagnosed condition - the only thing we know for sure - stress makes it worse. Good.

So I call FedEx, and am told someone will call me back.

Then, I call my husband, and then the police.

My husband called the police again later, and they're investigating. FedEx, upon my second call, is ticked off at me because although I got the license plate number, I couldn't remember whether it was FedEx Express, FedEx ground, etc. Their truck ripped lines off my house, and they're pissed at ME!

Called the phone company, and the lines won't be back up til probably Monday.

So here I am in Panera, eating breakfast and blogging.


But it has given me some ideas for new FedEx advertising slogans:

FedEx: When it absolutely, positively, has to be ripped off your house overnight.

FedEx: Delivering Destruction

FedEx: We delivereth, and we taketh away.

Please feel free to add your suggestions in the comments section...