“I think what you’re doing is wonderful. I would just be afraid something would happen to him.”

Those were the words my mother said when I excitedly told her I had joined Soldiers’ Angels back in 2004, and that my Soldier was a Cavalry Scout in Iraq.

“I am, too, Mom,” I said. “But he’s the one taking the risk, and the least I can do is support him.”
My Cav Scout is home safe now. I cried the day he emailed me to tell me they were leaving for Kuwait, and again when I got the email telling me he was safely home. It was an overwhelming sense of relief.

I’ve been lucky. My first Soldier came home safe. I haven’t heard from my two current adoptees in a while, which is a little odd, but knowing how busy they are, it isn’t causing a huge amount of alarm.

Other Angels have not been so lucky. I had to make a few of those calls – the call no Angel wants to get. It took me about an hour to actually dial the phone the first time – trying to figure out what the hell to say. What would I want to hear? Well, dammit, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to hear what I was going to hear, so there really weren’t words.

And I don’t mean to in any way belittle the grief that the family members, friends, comrades must feel, or to imply that ours is the same. I cannot imagine how it feels to lose a husband, a wife, a father, a mother, a child, a friend, in war. I hope I never have to know.

There are a number of Angels who check the casualty list regularly. It’s a grim task. I’ve seen familiar names before. But never so many as I found tonight.

Soldiers’ Angels is mourning the following heroes, all KIA this week:

SPC Kurt E. Krout
SPC Gennaro Pellegrini, Jr.
SGT Brahim J. Jeffcoat
SPC John Kulick

All were members of the 1st Battalion, 111th Infantry Regiment, US Army National Guard. There are two other fallen Heroes from that unit whose names have not yet been released.

I usually take the news fairly stoically, though the loss of a local hero tends to be felt more keenly. My husband knows when we have lost one even before I tell him; I am usually quiet (a rarity for me), but I keep it together. I am not indifferent, but I am unwavering in my belief in what they are doing, and I keep doing what I do. Today, all stoicism left me, and I cried. I’m crying now, typing this.

My antiwar acquaintances seem to take this as some sign that I should immediately abandon all support for the war. That is not the course I choose. I wish that Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines never had to die in war, but that isn’t the way things go. I hope, because it helps to ease my sorrow, that what we do at least provides some comfort to those that risk all to protect people like me. I hope that my letters, the goofy things that I’ve been known to send in care packages, provide a smile in a time of war to the Heroes that I write to. I hope saying thank you means something. I hope they know how very, very proud so many of us are of everything they do. I hope they all know they are loved, respected, admired. I hope that it means something, however small, to know that the passing of a Hero does not go unnoticed – that an entire country feels the loss.

I hope that I won’t see another name added to that list. But I know that I will, for that is the way of war. I hope that there continue to be more men and women willing to take those risks for people like me, to protect this country, to draw the line and stand to guard it, because I can sleep at night knowing they are there. I hope they know…

Today, Angels mourn, and I shed tears for Heroes lost. But they will not quit - how dare I? I have letters to mail, and so the time for tears will not last. There is work to do.


Sadly, an UPDATE: Two other Soldiers in that unit have lost their lives defending freedom for others:

Sgt. Francis J. Straub, Jr. (a Soldiers' Angels adoptee)
PFC Nathaniel A. "Nate" Detample

Please keep the families, friends, Angels, and comrades of these fallen Heroes in your thoughts and prayers.